Category: Self-esteem

Unbiased

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Despite our culture’s best and misguided efforts to promote self-love, many people continue to feel less valuable than those around them for various reasons. We have less money than someone else, we never completed our master’s degree, we do not have our own office at work, our house is the smallest in the neighborhood, our IQ is not as high as someone else’s, our body is not as fit, our health is not up to par, our family’s background is embarrassing, we don’t look as good as others, our sense of humor is less than desirable, our talents are few, etc., etc., ad infinitum.

Sometimes we actually get to feeling that we either do not deserve or cannot earn the care and attention of others. Worse yet, we sometimes suppose we cannot possibly gain the care and attention of God. Nothing could be further from the truth when it comes to the self-professed “Lord of lords.” Catch this verse tucked away in the first portion of the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy, “For the LORD your God is the God of gods and the Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God who does not show partiality nor take a bribe” (Deuteronomy 10:17, NASB).

Simply put, God does not show favoritism as this world does. He will not accept bribes of money, talent, status, or good works. He cares for people on the basis of one thing – His own, consistent character. God is the great One, the mighty One, and the awesome One; yet He cares for us because of His endless mercy. God reaches down to every person in just the same way – out of pure compassion. In God’s eyes, we are all equally helpless, and equally undeserving of His best. However, without one hint of bias toward any particular type of individual, God reaches down to us in the Person of Jesus Christ.

The rich cannot bait God with money. The intelligent cannot sway God with brainpower. The influential cannot gain God’s attention with power. The poorest among us can find God. Those with lowest aptitude can experience His loving arms. Those least known or understood can hear His voice. No matter the world’s opinion of you or your assumptions about yourself, God’s action toward you is unprejudiced. You cry out sincerely to Him, and He responds with mercy. So unlike human beings, God “does not show partiality nor take a bribe.” Lift your head. Look up. God loves YOU because of who HE is.

Splattered Spaghetti and the Heart of God

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“Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” – Psalm 51:7 (NIV – 1984)

The other day I made for myself a simple plate of spaghetti. Of course, spaghetti is not inherently simple when you consider the red tomato sauce in which it is covered. My dinner was fully prepared – spaghetti drenched in sauce with some added mushrooms and parmesan cheese. I loaded the carbs onto my plate after a day of activity and exercise. My husband was out of town, so I grabbed my dinner from the kitchen counter to take it to the living room. My spaghetti was in one hand; my iced tea was in the other. Before I got past the edge of the kitchen, my balancing act proved unsuccessful, as the spaghetti slid off one side of my plate and splattered everywhere as it landed. The four-foot drop produced quite a mess! The white linoleum in that corner edge of my kitchen was covered in wet noodles, red sauce with cheese, and various mushrooms, which – just seconds ago – looked very appetizing. But now, it looked like someone had gotten quite ill. The dinner hit the floor with such force that sauce splattered onto the surrounding walls and carpet. In fact, I found sauce on the front door of my house, a half-story down and seven feet from the accident!

Though I was hungry, tired, and much wanting to eat; my immediate concern was to clean up the mess before stains set in. I went to the carpet and painted walls first, scrubbing with a good cleaning solution. The more I cleaned, the more I recognized additional spots of the sauce in unbelievable places. Finally, after picking up large heaps of the mess and dumping it into the garbage can, I got down on my hands and knees and started wiping away at the linoleum.

As I cleaned and scrubbed while kneeling on the floor, I thought, “What an inconvenience. What a dumb thing I just did. What a waste of time. This is annoying.” My busy arm came to a standstill as God dropped this beautiful reminder in my heart, “Shelli, this is what I do all the time – clean up the messes of the people I love. My heart is a heart of restoration. Though I don’t have to – for I have no obligations – I choose to be in the business of cleaning up messes, both big and small. People sin and turmoil comes; I forgive and I restore.”

Suddenly, my whole perspective changed. I was no longer bothered by the work I was doing. This inconvenience was now a hint of God’s unfathomable grace. He does not have to, but He willingly works continually to clean up our hearts and make them like new. He will even apply His heart to the restoration of this entire universe one day; though the sum total of its current pain, disaster, confusion, and messes seems insurmountable. God’s love and power are infinite and far-reaching. Just as I went to the farthest places spaghetti sauce splattered, so God goes to the furthest and deepest places human sin wreaks havoc. Projecting into the future, the Bible boldly declares, “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away…He will wipe away every tear from their eyes…And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.'” (Revelation 21:1, 4, 5, ESV)

In the meantime, our God gets down “on the floor” where we are to clean things up. He sent His Son to live here, suffer here, and pay for sin here. God continually works in the business of cleaning and restoration. Out of pure and unbelievable love, He keeps cleaning and restoring.

Do you see nothing in front of you but a terrible mess? Do you see nothing in you but a disaster? Do you see nothing around you but wreckage? Hear the heart of God, the One who cleans so much more than splattered spaghetti:

“Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” – Psalm 51:7 (NIV – 1984)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” – II Corinthians 5:17 (NIV – 1984)

“You will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.” – Isaiah 58:12 (NIV – 1984)

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted.” – Isaiah 61:1 (ESV)

“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases.” – Psalm 103:2-3 (ESV)

“I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me.” – Jeremiah 33:8 (NIV – 1984)

Self-Esteem: The Struggle

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“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight . . . In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, . . .” – Ephesians 1:4, 7

Without citing any statistics, I make the observation that many people struggle with the issue of self-esteem. Throughout life, we meet many people who underachieve, fail to build solid relationships, and remain generally gloomy because they do not possess a solid basis for their own worth. Similarly, we sometimes encounter those among us who overcompensate for their missing sense of value by overachieving, pushing themselves on others, or touting their strong points in an unhealthy manner. No doubt self-esteem is a problem today, but the answer may not be what you think.

Self-esteem proves elusive, and so often just beyond our reach. Why? Precisely because self-esteem as a general psychological category is invalid if unrelated to God. A person who refuses to define self-esteem in the terms God establishes will not be able to harness a genuine sense of worth. He will tend to battle with his identity. She will not have a firm foundation for living and engaging the world.

Just what is the basis for healthy self-esteem? Let’s explore the following components:

1) You have been chosen by the One who really matters – by the only One who can provide meaning for your life. Ephesians 1:4 (NIV) proclaims, “For [God] chose us in him before the creation of the world . . .” Imagine, before the world was made, God had your life in His mind. Before He formed the mountains, carved out the seas, filled the sky with stars, created elephants or any other creatures; He chose you to be His own!

The world and circumstances do not give you meaning; the God who chose you before He made the universe gives you meaning. Your worth is not wrapped up in your ancestry, your career, your intelligence quotient, or your body type. Your value is defined by the Creator, who elected you to be part of His plan long before He ever fashioned human beings or breathed life into flesh.

2) You are chosen to be holy. DO NOT STOP READING HERE. Holiness is not a lackluster, religious term; it is the most exciting thing in the universe! Holiness is rooted in the concept of wholeness. We desire wholeness of body and mind, because to be whole means that something is – in fact – how it ought to be. Brokenness goes against our nature. Broken bones are bad. Broken relationships are bad. Broken hearts are bad. We long for wholeness because our God is holy. We long for Heaven because Heaven is the place where everything is right and whole.

God chose us to be holy. Ephesians 1:4 (NIV) goes on to declare, “He chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy . . .” When we aim in life for anything other than holiness, we end up disheartened. When we stake our value on something other than God’s definition of our intent, we end up feeling lost. Our purpose is to be like God and to live for His intention – holiness.

Many people mistakenly aim for happiness as their general life goal. Genuine joy will never be ours if happiness is the main pursuit of our hearts. Happiness is a by-product of holiness. Joy follows a soul that is settled on its purpose – the pursuit of God. No matter how some may try to get around it, we were chosen to be holy.

The exciting thing is that every believer can be holy through Jesus Christ! Whether you are a website designer, a teacher, a waiter, a neurosurgeon, a homemaker, an accountant, a salesman, or a mailman; we all have access to the genuine basis of self-worth – holiness. The purpose of God for human life puts all professions, all talents, all IQ levels, all socioeconomic statuses, and all personality types on level ground. We come to God through Jesus and fulfill the reason for living – holiness. Praise God that no circumstance can hold you back from your purpose!

3) You receive from Jesus Christ all that is necessary to live out your purpose. Ephesians 1:7 (NIV) declares, “In [Jesus] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” The tricky thing about self-esteem is that I cannot earn my worth. Self-esteem would be better known as “Jesus-esteem.” All my value is wrapped up in the God who made me, forgave me, and enables me to be holy.

The root behind “redemption” is the notion of being bought back – being ransomed. Jesus’ death and resurrection paid for our release from sin. Not only am I forgiven, but sin no longer reigns over me. I am pronounced holy because Jesus bore the penalty of my sin. I begin the pursuit of personal holiness because Jesus defeated the power of sin on my behalf. The Holy Spirit living in me gives me what I need to be a conqueror of wrong!

4) Ironically, if you search for self-esteem by looking in yourself, it will evade you. If you focus on the greatness of God, you will find your worth. Your Creator said, “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word” (Isaiah 66:2, NIV). God Himself clearly esteems the person who is humble – the person who looks more at God than the self. Despite the world’s twisted thoughts, humility is the precursor of personal worth. God values the person who not only believes the Bible, but literally trembles at its truth. A human could have no more value than the esteem of God Almighty! Look to Him. Do not just consider the verses of Scripture included in this article as wise words of self-help; reckon them as the unfailing, living words of the Creator – able to change your life!

You ARE valuable . . . because of God. He chose you before the world was made that you might be holy. Through Jesus you have the power to live. Keep the eyes of your heart on the greatness of God. Consider His Word infinitely powerful. Talk to God now. Mention these verses to Him. Let Him give to you Jesus-esteem.