Have you ever had jumbled emotions? Have you ever known a fact to be true from a rational perspective, but your heart could not wrap itself around the concept? Have you ever hoped for something, but were unable to completely believe it could happen? Have you ever been caught between belief and disbelief? If so, then you fit right in with the human race, including Christians throughout the millennia.
So how does God deal with these lackluster emotions of ours? In His perfection – His holiness – does He understand our wavering and our doubts? Let us go to a Psalm of David to investigate. Since every word of the Bible is God’s Word, we shall see from His heart how He reacts to our raw emotion.
Remember that David is in the lineage of Jesus. In fact, the very first verse of the book of Matthew proclaims, “A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ the son of David, . . .” God spoke of David early in his life that he was, “A man after [God’s] own heart” (I Samuel 13:4, NIV). David slew Goliath with a motivation to defend the name of the Lord. As king, David denounced idolatry. His overall being exuded a love for God and a trust in His providence.
However, David allowed his own fleshly desires to get the best of him at one point in his life, and he committed adultery with Bathsheba. In a futile attempt to dismiss his sin, David then had Bathsheba’s husband murdered. To what depths the man of God sank! Had he not grasped the grace of God, how could he have survived the horror of his sin? Yet, we find David to be a man fully repentant, crying out to God in Psalm 51 as he confesses his sin and trusts God for his future hope and restoration.
Keeping all this in mind, we move to Psalm 138, a song David wrote in affirmation and adoration of his Lord. It is the last verse, however, on which I want to focus. Psalm 138:8 (NIV) says, “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever – do not abandon the work of your hands.” What a beautiful and strange statement. It seems just a bit paradoxical that David would both affirm God’s providence in his life and beg God not to desert him. The shepherd boy-turned-king seems to have some juxtaposed emotions here. He boldly declares that the Lord will fulfill His purpose for David’s life. He reminds us that God’s love never fails. Then, in the very next phrase, David pitifully asks God to not abandon him – since David is the work of God’s own hands.
Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever proclaimed God’s truth to yourself, but then turned around and asked God if He would really stay? Have you ever wanted to believe, but then you needed to express your weakness in believing? By including this passage in His inspired Word, I think that God wants us to know that He understands our mixed-up emotions. He hears our human hearts. He is allowing us to see – through David – that our Lord is faithful to even wavering people. Of course, David knew God and put his ultimate hope in the Lord; but David also knew the pangs of unworthy feelings.
Surely, as David penned the words, “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me,” he recalled his terrible sin. Perhaps tears welled up in David’s eyes as he declared God’s unfathomable love to make sense of the life of a man who failed so miserably. Just to know that God had a divine purpose for a sinner could have driven David – as us – to a fountain of cleansing tears. And so, David continues by reminding himself that God’s love “endures forever.” The Lord’s love continues through failure, heartache, rebellion, hopelessness, attack, instability, and disbelief. Despite everything that would seem to push back its tide, God’s love rolls on.
Finally, the frailty of David’s sweetly broken heart comes through as He asks God to not abandon him. How Jesus longed to wrap His arms around David at that point and assure Him that He died to recreate David. Jesus gave His life to make David a beautiful creation – despite his weakness. How fitting it is that one of Jesus’ titles is “The Son of David.” What grace God has to identify with someone such as David. God is declaring that He does not give up on us. Even when we cannot quite grasp His grace – even when we waver between emotions – God is there holding us. I can just hear Jesus saying, “No, David, I will not abandon you.” Similarly, the Lord reminds us in Hebrews 13:5 (NIV), “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
In this verse tucked away at the end of Psalm 138, it’s as if David could hardly believe in the love of God to continue with him. It seemed too good to be true. But, we know that David did “get it” way down deep inside. We, too, know that God understands His love’s almost unbelievable nature. God is patient with us, and He allows us to express our need. He loves us over all the range of emotion that His grace produces.