Have you ever failed? You prayed, you hoped, you tried . . . and you failed. You really meant to overcome. But there you were, unable to succeed.
I recently had another opportunity to prevail in a particular area of trusting the Lord in which I had failed numerous times before. Were I to share the circumstance, some might say it is not big deal. Yet, it is a big deal, because I have tried again and again to commit this fear to the Lord and be one who overcomes.
I returned home having to hang my head as I realized how weak I truly am. I cannot even wholly trust the Lord in an area so many others find so simple. As I began mentally to beat up myself, our God of everlasting mercy spoke gently to my heart.
“It is more important to humbly realize your dependence on Me than to be proud of your own self,” He seemed to say. “In my infinite wisdom there are times when I know it is more important to be underneath my mercy than to overcome the circumstance,” I felt Him whisper.
Oh, Lord, this is difficult for an aspiring perfectionist such as me. Yet, I feel so safe knowing God is working on the core of who I am.
This musing of mine is not an excuse for failure or lack of trust in anybody’s life. Rather, it is a call to remember who’s who! God is God, and I depend wholly on Him. My only strength comes in knowing – and having to be reminded – that I am a humble human being who desperately needs Jesus to hold me every step of the way. My striving and subsequent failure vividly brings this dependence to the forefront.
King David knew the secret; He had been brought low by many encounters with his own sin and inadequacies. Thus, he said, “Though the Lord is on high, He looks upon the lowly, but the proud He knows from afar.” (Psalm 138:6, NIV)
When we are lowly, brought down by circumstances and our own finite humanity; let it remind us of the beauty of humility in God’s sight. Let it focus our minds on a God whose love and mercy are so pervasive that He chooses to strive with lowly people like us.
I love you, Lord, for reaching down to me.